CULTURE: An American Psycho Christmas

I can't tell if Bret Easton Ellis fanfic should bother me or not...

CULTURE: An American Psycho Christmas: "On Yankee Pot Roast, Mick Stingley's 'An American Psycho Christmas':

‘Joy to the World’ is being piped in over the din of the late afternoon crush at Saks Fifth Avenue and I am cursing the fact that I have to wait so long for the clerk to return with my credit card. I am pressed against the counter as all manner of last-minute shoppers flood the aisles of the perfume and cosmetic counters. Already some annoying woman has scuffed my A. Testonis with the wheels of her stroller and I am livid. In the left pocket of my black cashmere Ermenegildo Zegna coat I grip the handle of the small Wüsthof cleaver I carry and breathe easy as the blond little hardbody at the Chanel counter returns with my receipt and my purchase. She hands me my American Express Black card and the Chanel parfum, No. 5, which she has gift wrapped for me, and flirts. ‘She’s a very lucky lady.’ I manage a half-smile and notice that she looks like the blowjob girl from Asseaters II, which I still haven’t returned to the video store. ‘It’s for my sister,’ I lie. I take a business card out of my Louis Vuitton wallet and hand it to her. ‘Maybe we can have a drink after the holiday and you can tell me about perfume.’ She touches my hand and slips the card into her pocket. ‘I’d love to.’ I wink and turn away to exit the store, knowing full well that getting a cab on Fifth Avenue on December 23rd is going to be fucking next to impossible; but I manage to get one anyway and head downtown to SoHo to meet everyone for drinks at Gush.

via Gawker

(Written by: susannah_breslin)

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(Purportedly Via SuicideGirls: News Wire.)